“I've tried but I just can't take it, I'd rather fight than just fake it. You know that I've had enough, I dare ya to call my bluff” - Halestorm “I miss the misery”
James glanced at Sara occasionally once they got onto the road, she kept silent except when she gave him directions and even then she only whispered them. “Sara are you going to tell me what happened?” James asked quietly, reaching over and taking her hand. Sara glanced down at their joined hands before looking at James’ face. “Is Cait ok?”
Sara sighed and closed her eyes for a moment, “Cait is sick again. Her dad doesn’t remember where he put her medicine, which also means he probably didn’t make sure she took her others this evening, and her uncle can’t find them. I could hear her crying in the background.” When James gave her hand a gentle squeeze and she could feel her eyes start to well up with tears. “I should have never let her go”. James wasn’t sure what else he could say right now beside just holding her hand and being there for her. He was afraid of how Cait was but he wasn’t going to let it show to Sara. When he watched the city lights disappear in his review mirror, he realized that this was going to be a very long night. His body was already high strung from the club and now it was just full of anxiety.
When they pulled up to a small house in what looked like a very rural area, he found himself actually nervous about meeting Sara’s ex, he also felt an overwhelming need to protect her and Cait from them, a feeling he wasn’t even going to think about right now. Sara groaned when she already saw Nathan open the door before she even got out of the car. She grabbed the extra medicine that she had packed away in her purse, thankful that James had at least remembered to grab it from her car while she was too busy being worried. “Stay here” Sara said as she squeezed his hand one last time and headed towards the house. Nathan quickly let her in and gave her arm a small squeeze to apologize. She saw that a few of Cody’s friends were over and there were a few beer cans scattered around the living room. “What? Did you two decide to have a fucking party with a 4 year old in house?” Sara whispered harshly to Nathan. He gave her a sheepish look before pointing to his bedroom.
“Cody called a few of the guys when he got here. I’ve been keeping her in my room most of the night.” Nathan whispered back. Sara stepped into the room and saw that Cait was laying in the middle of the bed and sleeping quietly. She could get the faint smell of vomit and took notice of the garbage can next to the bed. She quickly sat down next to Cait and gently shook her awake.
“Cait baby, I need you to take this. Come on honey, they will make you feel better.” Sara whispered to her, pulling her daughter on her lap and, holding out the pills. Cait took them slowly and mumbled as she crawled up onto her lap. Sara wrapped her arms around her daughter tightly before walking out of the room. “Thank you Nathan. I’ll call you when she feels better” She whispered when she walked past him. When she got to the living room, she saw Cody staggering about between there and the kitchen, trying to move quickly to the front door to avoid any confrontation, the screen door decided to not to cooperate with her and banged loudly when she closed it. James had been waiting for her outside of the car the entire time and she could almost feel the relief from it. Cody had barged out after them, causing Sara to cringe at the sound of the screen door once again. She ignored him yelling at her to stop and continued to walk to the drive way. When Cody grabbed a hold of her shoulder forcefully, she saw James take a step forward and shook her head at him. The last thing she needed was to get in trouble for one of the star players to end up all bruised because of her ex. “Cody, remove your hand right this instant. I have our daughter.” Sara said to him in a low stern voice and glared at him until he released her. She realized that there was no way out of talking to him, so she quickly handed Cait to James who was still thankfully sleeping and watched as he gently put her in the backseat. “What the fuck is your problem!” She exclaimed as she turned and looked at her soon to be ex husband, walking back towards the house slightly so they were far enough from the car.
“What do you mean my problem? What the fuck are you doing here with him? And where the hell are you taking Cait?” Cody yelled back, his 6’6” framed loomed over her. Her ex was a very large country boy but he never intimidated her.
Sara could smell practically smell the beer radiating from his body, “I’m taking her home. James is driving me there. You irresponsible jackass. I told you, she needed her medicine. Did you even think about that while she was in there vomiting all over your brother’s room? You were supposed to take care of her! Not him! And you certainly shouldn’t be drinking and throwing parties while she’s in your care. I don’t care what you do in your free time, but when you have her you have to be a fucking adult. Do you not get that still?” She yelled back, taking a step back away from him, not even caring to hear his response.
She let out a gasp in surprise when Cody grabbed her arms tighter this time and turned her back around to face him. “You aren’t taking her away from me. Especially not with him. She’s not going anywhere.” Cody yelled in her face as his grip tightened again as she tried to pull free.
“Take her hands off of her, before I remove them for you” James said from behind Sara, causing her to groan slightly. This was starting to get even more out of control, especially since Cody snapped his hand up to look at James.
“What the fuck are you going to do about it buddy? Technically she’s still my wife until the divorce is final.” Cody said in a cold menacing tone that sent chills down her spine. She didn’t know this man that hands painfully on her arms that she knew were going to bruise, this was not the man she married. Thankfully Nathan had come quickly to her rescue, and pulled Cody back, barely, but at least he wasn’t holding onto her anymore. “This isn’t over Sara”
James knew he had to get Sara and Cait out of here as soon as possible, he wrapped his arm around her waist and led her to the car. He glanced back at the giant of a man that was standing in the driveway staring at them before pushing Sara into the car. Once they were a safe distance from the house, he let himself start to breath again. Sara hadn’t said anything, just kept glancing back at the still sleeping Cait. “I’m so sorry. You shouldn’t have had to go through that” She whispered to him, keeping her eyes down towards her hands in her lap.
He shook his head and grabbed her hand again, “No Sara, you shouldn’t have had to go through that. But we have Cait, and she seems better. Lets just get you home and you can fall apart then.” He said, giving her hand a gentle squeeze. She just nodded in return and leaned her head back against the headrest. James glanced at the clock, realizing it was only 12:30, even thought it felt like it was one of the longest nights he has ever had outside of hockey games. Speaking of hockey, he knew he had to go on a 4 day road trip, leaving late tomorrow night. The last thing he wanted to do was leave her alone right now. He didn’t know why he was having all these strong emotions for her now and he didn’t want to analyze them just yet. He knew, making the wrong move could ruin the friendship they had and her and Cait could be out of his life just like that.
Sara let out a sigh of relief when she saw her home, she went to thank James for driving him but stopped short when she saw him get out of the car quickly and reach in the back for Cait. Cait snuggled close to his chest as he waited for Sara to unlock and open the door. When Sara went to reach for her, he shook his head and asked which room. After quickly giving him directions to Cait’s room, Sara walked towards the kitchen and started a pot of coffee, knowing that sleep was just not going to happen. She was feeling too keyed out, too guilty and too confused at this moment to even try. James walked back into the kitchen and just stared at the woman in front of him. She had removed her boots, leaving her 4 inches shorter, normally he went for woman closer to his height, but this 5’4 woman was already worming her way into his heart and was already on his mind more then she should be. Her long blonde hair was pulled up in a messy bun and she had put on her glasses, but she was still wearing what she wore to the club that night, making him remember she had a drink thrown in her face for defending his captain. “You’re not going to change?” He asked, leaning against the kitchen island. Sara glanced at him in surprise to see him still standing there before nodding slightly.
“You know, you can go home. I’ll be ok.” Sara said as she stepped towards him to go upstairs and change. James just shook his head, pushing some of the hair that had escaped behind her ear before walking past her and towards the coffee pot to pour 2 cups. “I guess that means you’re staying..” She muttered before moving quickly upstairs to get out of her sticky clothes. She tried not to freak out over the fact that James was in her home, let alone staying. She had too much on her mind already. As she changed into a pair of yoga pants and tank top, she quickly called the emergency line for Cait’s doctor. The doctor on call explained that she was fine for the night but she needed to come in to the hospital tomorrow for a check up. Sara quickly agreed and held back a groan before she headed back downstairs.
As Sara was upstairs, James couldn’t help but look around her house. She lived in a large old fashioned Victorian house, and it actually looked lived in. Pictures scattered all around, varying from Cait’s years growing up and others that were of her family. Every room was a different color, but they were all earthy colors that seemed to flow. He could imagine her and Cait living her and hearing laughter all around. He was brought back from his own thoughts by Sara walking back into the kitchen, rubbing a hand along her face with a sigh. “Besides the obvious bad parts….did you have fun tonight? With us earlier?” He asked, pouring a cup of coffee and setting it in front of her.
Sara smiled as she took a sip of her coffee, amused slightly that he knew exactly how she liked her coffee already. “I had a wonderful night. Thank you for convincing me to come out. Although now I feel horribly guilty now for leaving Cait and what you had to go through.”
James shook his head and grabbed her hand, “You had no idea that would have happened with her. He’s her father. He’s supposed to protect her and care for her. And as for me, I just wanted to be there for both of you.” She gave him a small smile and just shook her head. “What happened between the two of you?” James asked, almost afraid to ask.
Sara raised an eyebrow, before sliding out of her seat before heading over to her pantry. “Me and Cody? Oh you know the whole, girl meets boy. They marry too young, boy convinces girl to have a baby, boy won’t grow up, girl takes child and kicks boy out.” She answered as she started to lay things out on the counter.
He gave her a curious look when she pulled out the mixer, “What the hell are you doing?”
“Oh James, you are about to witness one of my horrible qualities. I work for a bakery, and when I’m upset and can’t sleep. I bake.” Sara answered him as she started to measure out flour into a large mixing bowl.
“Now tell me the truth about you and the lumberjack you call your ex.”
“Where to begin….Me and Cody met when I was 18, he was 20. I wasn’t exactly top popularity in high school and had never really had a boyfriend. He never asked me out, in fact it actually started as a one night stand. I was intrigued by him and continued to chase after him. He first told me no but eventually came around and we started dating. Less then a year later, he was already moved in and had purposed to me. I was on cloud nine, no mater what anyone said. I had noticed early on how he really was. When he traveled for work, I wasn’t to call him, only wait for his call. Heaven for bid if I wanted to talk to him longer then he wanted. And that’s when the lying started. He had a drinking problem before he met me, living it up at farm parties and in college since he was mister star athlete in college.” Sara gave him an amused smirk before continuing on as she started to stir up the batter she was making, “In the beginning, he had stopped his drinking but on the road, it just got worse. He blamed it on missing home, but he always lied about where he was and what he was doing, even when he really had to come home. Always saying it was my fault for questioning him, that I was just being insecure and petty. He always apologized after, saying he’d work on it. I always forgave him and just kept telling myself how lucky I was that he wanted me. But when he was home, it was like having a child. He spent all day sleeping, playing xbox, wanting to party with his brother. I was responsible for everything in the house. I thought once we got married it would be different, but I was wrong. The fighting got more intense. The insults got crueler. Telling me how lazy I was, how all I do is nag him and how hard he worked and the least I could do is keep the house clean. At that time I was working 2 jobs and running the house. Honestly it was amazing that Cait was even conceived. He never wanted to touch me. There was no passion between us anymore once we said I do. I would beg him to just hold me, to kiss me. He would get mad and that would be another fight. After telling him that this wasn’t going to work for me, that I wanted a family and a partner in life, he convinced me that we should have a baby. That he would change. It never happened. He seemed to start volunteering for more jobs, longer ones away from home, saying it was all for the baby. When Cait was born and I held her in my arms for the first time, I knew that no matter what happened between us, she was the best thing in my life.” Sara stopped and took a deep breath, glancing at James to see that he was still staring at her intensely.
“So why did it end?” James asked, moving closer to Sara.
“The first 2 years after Cait were great but after that, I was so completely emotionally beat down from him. Everything was always my fault. When it turned to that I had Cait just to trap him, and his lying got more and more frequent I couldn’t take it anymore. I started to go through his phone and his email. I found conversations with women from other cities. Women he had met, all the way back from when I was pregnant. He told me it was just friends that he had met, nothing more. I tried to keep a brave face and kept telling myself I was lucky to have him. Who else would want me? Here I am, no college education, pushing my mid twenties with a baby. But when Cait started to get sick, he started to disappear again, meeting with these women again. At that point, I had to be strong for my baby. I couldn’t let him control me anymore. And I wasn’t going to let him interfere with Cait getting better.” Sara finished with a shaky breath and James could see a tear slide down her cheek.
He reached over and pulled her into his arms, his thumb brushing away the tear before sliding down her cheek and cupping her face gently. “Sara you are by far one of the strongest most incredible woman and mother I know. Don’t let him take that away from you.” He whispered, leaning his forehead against hers. James continued to stare into her bright green eyes as he caressed her cheek, running his thumb across her bottom lip. He heard her breath hitch slightly when he did it. Going on full instincts that sometimes got him into trouble, he leaned in and pressed his lips gently against Sara’s.
Sara gasped in shock against James’ mouth before letting her eyes fall shut, giving into the kiss. When James felt her surrender, he pulled her completely against his body, pressing his lips against hers tighter. He was surprised when she met him with just as much intensity, her hands sliding up his chest and clutching onto his shirt. Sara let out a small moan when she felt him nip at her bottom lip before running his tongue along it. The two of them were quickly getting caught up in the moment and never heard the front door open or the heavy footsteps that came into the kitchen. When they heard the clatter of one of the bar stools being toppled over, they quickly jumped apart and saw Vikki, Jordan, Kris, Geno, and a Sidney all standing there look at them. “I told you guys! Stealth, like a ninja! Not like an elephant!” Vikki said, playfully smacking Jordan across the chest. Sara couldn’t help the blush that was creeping up her cheeks before turning back to what she was making at the counter, seeing that James looked just as embarrassed as he rubbed the back of his neck awkwardly and looking anywhere but the group of people who suddenly started to laugh at them.
“Oooo what is it you are making?” Geno said, coming over and looking over Sara’s shoulder. She told him it was cake batter and couldn’t help but grin over his excitement.
“Oh god, evacuate the kitchen. She’s baking. You can’t get in her way. Come on boys, I’ll show you the spare rooms.” Vikki said, giving Sara a wink as she pushed the guys out of the kitchen. “You have to be quiet though. Cait is sleeping”
Once they were left alone in the kitchen, Sara felt her blush coming back full force at how she was practically pawing away at James a few moments ago. James pulled away the mixing bowl away from her before covering it properly and putting it into the fridge. “Come on, you need sleep too” He said as he grabbed her protesting hand and pulling her upstairs before stopping and realizing he didn’t know which room was hers. She quickly took the lead and walked into the room that was hers, not expecting James to follow her into it and close the door. “Not one word, just sleep” He exclaimed after he caught her yawning. He pulled off his shirt and gently pushed Sara towards the bed. All of tonight’s emotions quickly caught up with her and she could barely keep her eyes open. She climbed into bed, not noticing James stripping down to his undershirt and boxers and climbing into the bed after her. The last thing she remembered was how nice it was to be held when she felt him wrap his arm around her waist before drifting off to sleep.
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